After the stroke I spent 25 days in the hospital, thee days in ICU and a bit more than three weeks in inpatient rehab. I longed to be home with Laura with my own property about me; with my own dog Max and with my own TV with the channels I normally watch. But before I could come home we needed to have put in place the necessary physical support required for me to get around and function.
At that point I was still wheelchair bound, unable to stand up by myself with a walker. I was able to stand using an apparatus called a “stand assist” or “stand aid”. This machine has four caster wheels, two of which can be locked to keep it stable, a platform at the bottom to place my feet on, and a bar along the top that I could use to pull myself up with my good arm (the right arm), also pushing up with my right leg, to come to a standing position, mostly on my right leg. Once I was standing, two paddle type seats could be unfolded or rotated down behind me for me to sit on.
In order for me to be able to get from the edge of the bed to the wheelchair, we used the stand aid. This machine initially was the way Laura was able to get me around. It was barely able to fit in either of the bathrooms, and each time I needed to use the bathroom, or needed to take a shower, Laura loaded me into that machine and muscled me around the carpeted house to get me where I needed to go. Even throughout the night when I woke up needing to go, I would have to wake Laura up and she would get the machine and bring it over to the side of the bed, load me onto it, and move me where I needed to go. Sometimes several times each night. We opted to do this instead of having me use a hand held urinal, either in bed or at the edge of the bed, which would have been a disaster if i missed or spilled while using it. A heavy machine with small wheels and a heavy guy on it is very difficult to move on carpet, and each time it is used the caster wheels need to bo locked and unlocked, which Laura was doing with bare feet much of the time, pushing the lock or small wheel brake with her toes each time. I knew that this was unsustainable from the beginning, and the fact that Laura was willing to do it at all was unbelievable. It really tested the promise we made to each other over 47 years ago “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish always.”
We needed a better way. But my left arm and leg were so weak, I was constantly afraid of falling if I tried to transfer from the bedside to the wheelchair. But it was clear that I had to try, and with much “encouragement” from Laura I took the risk and figured out how to get to the wheelchair from the bedside (using a rail that Kristen and Gabriel installed on my side of the bed), and using the same rail from the chair back into bed. I was able to figure out how to pull myself up from the wheelchair to the sink in the bathroom. and while holding onto the counter top of the vanity, move my body to the toilet. The stand aid was thus retired to the garage to be donated to someone who needed it.
That victory, that step forward was huge. It made me realize that there were more things I could do for myself than I realized I could do. But I was still reluctant to test the limits. I was afraid of falling. Laura realized though, that if I didn’t push past my fears I may not achieve the full amount of recovery I could achieve. So Laura pushed me, and pushed hard. And though I fought her at the time I am so glad she stood fast. We bought a platform walker (a standard walker with a platform for the affected arm, in my case the left arm, to rest on while holding a handle for stabilization), and though it was tough, I figured out how to come to a standing position using the walker. I wouldn’t be doing that if it weren’t for Laura’s insistence that I try. I now move around using the walker, and the wheelchair has essentially been retired! I am walking – stiff and slow, but I’m walking! And I wouldn’t be, if it weren’t for Laura’s insistence that I do it. Moving around in the walker is slower than in the the wheelchair, but while in it I’m walking. My legs and feet are taking steps, small and slow though they may be, which is essential if I want to recover from this and walk properly. Moving from the walker to the toilet and to the shower is easier than from the wheelchair, which is nice.
Today, as I write this, it is April 6th. Exactly one month from the day I was discharged from the hospital. Just under two months from the day the stroke occurred. When I was in ICU I was told by the neurologist to expect it to be three months before any real recovery, if any, would take place. I’ve also been told that the full amount of recovery I will get could take up to a year to achieve. But less than two months into this I feel that God has already given me quite a bit back. Clearly, I can’t walk normally yet, but I’m up on a walker and can get around without a wheelchair. Progress has been clear and significant, and I thank God and Laura for that. Without Laura’s persistence and encouragement I would still be bound to a wheelchair. Instead, I walked – in a walker – the 300 feet or so required to get into the Cape Girardeau Nature Center yesterday evening, where we manned the welcome table for “Froggy Friday” for three hours. Before the stroke happened, I would volunteer at the nature center, helping out with events and sometimes feeding the animals. It was nice to be back.
I don’t know how long it will take, but I do believe that God has let us know that full recovery is out there, but it won’t come without effort. It takes time for the neuroplasticity process to take place, but it also takes effort. The brain will not rewire itself to tell the muscles to work the way they should if I don’t use what capability I still have to move those muscles as much as possible in the direction they need to go. So the journey continues.